HERE WE GO!

•April 15, 2013 • Leave a Comment

NORML

Hello Friends! First let me thank you for visiting my  site. I try and pass on info about current and past issues on marijuana reform along with other thoughts and issues.

 We proudly support www.Norml.org./ www.l.e.a.p./cc / www.crrh.org

Until next time,

peace, beibe 

NORML

©beibejones/midnightboogies2013  

  • Disclaimer

    This blog is for informational purposes only. It is not intended, and should not be viewed, as a source of legal advice. None of the information in this blog should be used as a substitute for seeking competent legal help with any legal issue readers may be experiencing. Bottom line, no legal advice is being offered and none should be inferred from any content on this site, including linked content, and user comments. This site is not a source of legal advice.

        

End of an Era

•February 18, 2015 • Leave a Comment

57 years on this rock and only now do I find out what family really is and what it means to me.

I was born back in 1958 in Fort Wayne Indiana to middle class parents and the youngest of six siblings. Times back then were a lot simpler than they are today as the world seemed to be progressing rather quickly but was still in the stone ages as far as compared with today’s standards. I was raised to believe that you showed respect to your elders and that family was first and foremost the top priority.

Struggles were had by our parents back then as well as now but the standard of living was way different from it is today. People would watch out for each other and our friends as well as us would walk the line out of respect as much as fear. You were watched over by all the parents in the neighborhood and when told to do something you made sure it was done correctly the first time.

Fun was had by all kids back then and playing outside kept us fit and active whereas today it seems that kids are withdrawn from nature and the only playtime found is on computers. Boy, times have changed. I have watched both my parents pass, along with three of my siblings through these 57 years and as time marches on I’ve come to realize that family isn’t something you are born into so much as who chooses to stand beside you in time of joy as well as times of sorrow. This has been slammed into my brain hard in recent years and every day it hits home harder than the day before.

I would never dream of calling the police on any family member if life was not in danger but this is exactly what has happened to me by not one, but two of my siblings in the course of my life, neither time for endangering anyone. The first time was in 1978 and my oldest brother wanted a promotion in the Air Force so put the police on me because I lived in the same state (California) and was using marijuana for recreational purposes. He thought it would hurt his chances if he didn’t tell (NARC). The second time was in 2006, I was living in Alabama minding my own business when again a family member thought it wise to send the police to my house because I wouldn’t return a phone call. I got over their foolish actions but it taught me to be wary the rest of my life.

In 2007 I lay in a hospital and the doctors didn’t think I would make it through the night and not one of my family members (except mother) cared enough about me to be in contact with friends/family there. (yes I might be irrational on this but I have quit my life to be in Indiana more than once for them!). Andy, a brother three years my senior who I’ve always held in high respect has recently proved to me that family doesn’t matter and greed replaces all when it comes to his remaining sister and brother. My mother (God bless her soul) developed Alzheimer’s in the early 2000’s and when her husband passed in 2010 I moved in with her to provide care for her. I watched as Andy and his favorite brother-in-law snuck to a lawyer out of town to get Power of Attorney rights and manage all of her financial affairs. Throughout the first year and a half Andy intentionally abused me mentally on a weekly basis as he did not want her money spent on her care. He told me “after mother dies you no longer will be a part of my family” Only when I forced him to sit and care for her while I worked third shift did he change his mind and decide to pay me an allowance to care for her as he couldn’t handle it. This in turn enraged my oldest brother to a point where when he passed he had nothing to do with me or mother. The question that burned in me was how could they possibly love her when all they wanted was to bring pain to me, her caretaker?

Here comes the tricky part-ready?

Andy is now dying from stage four cancer and isn’t expected to be around very much longer. Although he made sure he was not only P.O.A. but also executor of her will he had it put in the will that anyone contesting his decisions would be cut out of her will!

Today I went over to visit him and try to get a couple of business matters resolved and was slapped in the face by his demeanor towards me. He is of the mind that his remaining siblings are causing him distress by wanting to get this ordeal over and finished. I had asked him for a ruby I had given my mother some years back for her birthday and was informed that his daughter is receiving it as well as the fact that she is the executor of her will when he passes. Why in the world couldn’t this have been taken care of after her death instead of waiting 3 1/2 months later and still nowhere near finished. By writing this I am putting myself in a position of alienating myself from all family members left, along with nieces,nephews, etc… but I no longer care. Let greed become your master in life, this is ok by me.

Bottom Line- You are born into a so called family but it is up to you to make sure who to trust and through my experience the only family I have are friends that have built trust with me over the years. These are the people who are happy to see you, be around you, and most importantly don’t stab you in the back for their own agenda. Cherish the friendships you make in life and choose family well

Peace my friends.

GIVE ME LOVE!

•November 19, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Reflections on the recent past and the near future scare the shit out of me. I am starting this post this way as I have just lost my mother to Alzheimer’s after a long battle and as for the future, well I am having deep feelings wash over me like a tsunami.

For the past four years I have taken care of my mother and it was a challenge to say the least. I witnessed a vibrant lady melt away slowly and become dependent on someone else after a lifetime of caring for others needs before thinking of herself. A woman who throughout life was determined to stand tall and believed that if you thought of doing something you should get up then and there and get it done, as long as it didn’t hurt anyone else. I will always cherish the little things mother did for me as well as others, things I have taken for granted before without thought or consideration and most times without compassion.

As I sat in rehab back in 1989 we were told that a meeting would take place with our parents as a way to get a grip on reality. As I sat there in a circle of stoner’s and alcoholics I watched as one by one they all broke down and melted in a puddle of tears when their parents told of tales of youth where their kids were angels and just had bad breaks that put them where they were. I was skeptical about how the patients could show hurt without anger and if it was really hitting home with them but each one showed emotions that I didn’t believe were inside of me and kept telling myself that when it was my turn I would be a smart-ass and blow it off with laughter. Alas that was not the case when the time finally came and my mother was asked to comment. she caught me and the rest of that room off guard when she spoke but only one sentence, “You have always told me a song described it best, “the only hell my mama ever raised”. Needless to say my big thought of laughing it off flew out the door when she made that comment and I too melted into a puddle of tears.

The rehab didn’t take and I continued to be a hell raiser for another 10 years before I finally woke up. Through this time of trials I spoke with my mother over the phone sparsely and would visit when I was in town but it seems like I always kept her on the back burner. I guess that it took the death of my oldest sister to slap me upside the head and start to care about family more. I moved to Alabama and started to call mama every week to just bullshit and make sure she was doing ok. About four years or so went by and then she said she couldn’t really hear me too good and would put her husband on the line. He would assure me everything was good and that she was just having a hard time hearing. Around 2006 or so she would answer the phone and say that she didn’t know who I was. I went home to visit and mother didn’t know who I was [a true heartbreaking experience]. It took about a half hour of staring at me and friends and family telling her about me before she suddenly brightened up with recognition that I was her “baby boy”. I moved back to Indiana in 07′ because of health reasons and with her help I, like Humpty Dumptyahump was put whole again. MANY THANX MOM! I spent a couple of years [6] getting in the right health both physically and mentally and for the last four I was taking care of her while trying to keep mentally strong also. When I first started that journey mom was able to talk and still function more or less with help as she couldn’t drive anymore but could still write a grocery list, carry on an intelligent conversation and if you were around regularly she would remember you. This was the beginning of the end of the only true love I have ever known.

R.I.P. Mother with the knowledge that you were and are still an angel, with love, me

THE FUTURE

As I deal with the biggest loss in my life I am blessed with many opportunities and the realization that the world is mine for the taking. I have in these last few weeks found peace in my mother’s passing by way of another love entering my life. I have been stalked [joking dear] by a long lost friend that is going through a worse experience than I did as I had help from my siblings and she doesn’t. Cheryl was a friend I met back in 79′ or 80′ as she was married to a friend I grew up with and upon moving back home from Cali we met. We hung around for the better part of a decade before I lost contact with her and a few others I would like to see again. She had been divorced and re-married thus when the fabulous Facebook friend came knocking I noticed she was friends with my niece so friended her without looking at her profile. She was quiet for the most part and for a long time we didn’t really talk but would like a post on each others timeline. You really need to change your profile pic babe! Beside the fact that when we met again after the long absence we picked up right where we left off, there seems to be more now than before for us to rejoice in.

I would be at the least an asshole if I didn’t mention the family, cousins, uncles and close friends that have helped me through this and are there for me now as well. The list would be too long to put in here but you guys know who you are and many thanx to all! Outside of the love of family, friends and Cheryl I am also at a turning point in my life as to what I want and need to do from here.

To reach back into the past and pick the good things out to bring into the future is kinda cool and I’m a thinking that among those will be Angels and Harley’s to name a few. Life is not going to be cherries and I know this as I am facing another great loss in my life as my brother is facing stage 4 cancer. I refuse to look at all of this with a bitter attitude but more of determination to live life the best I can with the joy of friends.  NORMOL is something we should all be a part of and if the $25 annual fee is to much to pay than I say rethink your values! This organization has been fighting for your rights since 1972 and I am PROUD to be a part of it!

I Accept the Solution

I Accept the Solution

Jump upon the freedom train my friends and let’s get our priority’s right while we have a chance. I am seeing great things in store for us all and will continue to hold my head high as I march into yet another cold winter knowing I will be able to stay warm with the thought of all of you that touch my life in a positive way, Thanx Ernie.

peace ©2014beibejones

 

 

 

Dog Daze

•October 1, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Mama's Baby BoyI am going to share my perspective of the caregivers process and effects that it has had on me as the primary caregiver and baby son of my mother. Before I became the one to take care of mom I was just getting to the end of a long and painful battle of my own regarding a colostomy which would finally end in the second year of my caregiver experience. Six major operations in four years had me pretty depressed and not quite ready for the journey I am now on.

Caregiving requires a person to dedicate all their time, energy and emotions to the person who is suffering, in this case my mother. The bond between a mother and her youngest child is strong in its own right and out of love & concern all thoughts of my self-satisfaction went straight out of the window when I heard her husband had died. I have taken care of her since February 14th 2011 and have gained a lot of knowledge in that time but it has come at an emotional cost that has about bankrupted my already altered mind. I moved to Alabama in 2000 and I would talk to mom over the phone when I could and we would share laughter along with many other emotions and well…life was good. Around 2006 [ ? ] or so I began noticing mom having trouble hearing me over the phone so she would hand it to pops and we would talk but he assured me it was just her hearing starting to go and at 83 years it made sense to me. Not long after, maybe six months or so mom wouldn’t know who I was when I called and I was again reassured that she was fine, just having a hard time hearing.

I moved back to Indiana in 2008 and the first time mom seen me she had no idea who I was. It took about 45 minutes of staring at me, listening to people she knew and was comfortable with [neighbors, my older brother and his wife] to remember who I was but then she lit up and burst through a bubble of confusion. After that I started taking her shopping as pop’s wasn’t in good health and at that time mom could still function normally. She had stopped driving and didn’t recognize people if they weren’t around fairly often but she still had fun. Dean passed on Valentines day 2011 and at that time I started staying with mom to look after her. First off I scheduled a doctor appointment and complete physical for her. After talking to the doctor I had him remove her medications as one was for anxiety and another was for depression which she got along so much better without! We started going out to eat and going shopping.  Mom was happy and we would joke around, dance, even have a couple of beers in the late afternoon. I took her visiting to see her brothers who live only about a 30 minute drive but she couldn’t make that trip very often [don’t know why] before. She also gained thirty-five pounds around this time.

Family emotions ran high the first year and conflict about destroyed our family over the proper care of mom and making sure she was comfortable. My older brother became POA and has done a fantastic job caring for the legal things that accompany this disease. We did have altercations over money and how it was used but have since worked that out which relieved great amounts of stress off my shoulders. It took me almost two years to realize how this job could have repercussions.

Concerns of Ability:

This is one thing that can destroy a person’s mind as it becomes painfully stressful to have to adjust the level of care needed as this disease progresses. In this time of everyone judging every minute thing you do a person starts to get anxious about making ANY mistake no matter the size as then not only do I worry about the wellness and health of mom but also about myself. I have lost friendships due to the fact that I don’t leave mom alone and have no time for friends. I also lost  [what I thought] to be a serious relationship with a very talented lady. Not having any time for myself also puts pressure on me as it feels like no matter how hard I try [and so far am succeeding] I am angry, confused, angry, and restless. I have tried to make time for myself by going out to the shed and getting exercise but it couldn’t pan out due to mom getting upset because she couldn’t help.

                                                                                                         Lack of Self Care:

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This one involves more than merely hygiene. Giving someone your undivided attention 24/7 can forbid you from taking care of yourself mentally. Breakdowns need to be avoided and taking proper care of myself is the only way to ensure this. I have had to learn how and when to make time for me. Previously I had to worry what mom would do when I was showering. I was always concerned about her going outside and wandering off. As time passed this worry became worrying about her falling when trying to get up and walk through the house. Showering is one thing that helps me relax, leaving the hot water sooth sore muscles from stress affords me peace. I tried to take them after she went to sleep but quickly found out that the noise woke her up or she didn’t go to sleep and would go wandering through the house. As she is now 91 and has lost weight, include the fact that she has no comprehension of what she wants and the need to walk with her holding my hand is mandatory now. I have to choose the right time to do things while keeping her happy and comfortable. Routine house chores become hectic as she wants to “help” and bless her heart for that but she isn’t physically able to do so without hurting herself. recently I was using the restroom and she got up and fell against the entertainment center resulting in a trip to the hospital for stitches. Emotional result for me? disastrous!

Exercise and meditation are hard to get started and when I do it seems that my interest is lost due to lack of enthusiasm so I have re-gained the weight I fought hard to lose last year. This puts another damper on happiness within and a person can only handle so many dampers at once before meltdown occurs. ie; overload a circuit breaker. It comes as no surprise anymore what all is involved in this situation. Putting my life on hold is and will always be worth this time I have spent with my mother and I will survive the mental scares I’ve received during this time. Staying on top of all the emotions involved is not easy and some things I have had to release from my life altogether. All of this will pass and somehow I will be a better person for it. I self medicate to lessen the stress!

I Accept the Solution

I Accept the Solution

copywrite2014 Beibe Jones

 

 

 

FREEDOM

•August 22, 2014 • Leave a Comment
"They" put us here!

“They” put us here!

While Ferguson Missouri is in the headlights of the nation,this is nothing new. I believe it is high time to stop this unjustified violence!
CALIFORNIA
August 25, 1995: Wayne Calvin Byrd II along with four other associates were beaten and arrested by the Los Angeles Police Department’s CRASH unit in the Marina Del Rey community of West Los Angeles. Although attempts were made by the City of Los Angeles to settle the case, several Pacific Division Los Angeles Police Department officers, including Officer Ramirez, Officer Villalpando, Officer Damiano, and Officer Williams were found guilty of various civil rights violations, including false imprisonment.
All charges against the four victims were eventually dropped
June–July 2000: A string of incidents of police misconduct by a group of officers from the Oakland Police Department known as “the Oakland Riders” came to light. 119 people pressed civil rights lawsuits for unlawful beatings and detention, ultimately settling for $11 million with an agreement that the Oakland Police Department would implement significant reforms. Although all of the police officers involved were terminated, three were later acquitted of criminal charges while one fled to Mexico to avoid prosecution.
July 5, 2011: Kelly Thomas was a 37-year-old homeless man suffering from schizophrenia and living on the streets of Fullerton, California. He was fatally beaten by members of the Fullerton Police Department. He died from his injuries on the 10th of July 2011. Unarmed and mentally ill, Thomas was shocked with tasers and beaten with flashlights by up to six police officers. An investigation into the beating has been launched and the FBI has become involved. A protest over the beating was held outside the Fullerton Police Department on 18 July 2011. Four officers have been suspended and two have been charged with second degree murder and manslaughter. Proceedings concluded on January 13, 2014 with both Manuel Ramos and Jay Cicinelli being found not guilty of any criminal charges.
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GEORGIA
November 21, 2006: Kathryn Johnston, an 92-year-old Atlanta woman, was shot and killed by police officers who had entered her home with a no knock warrant that had been based on false information. She had fired one shot over the heads of the police, who she assumed were intruders, when they knocked down her door. Those responsible later admitted to planting marijuana in Johnston’s house and submitting cocaine into evidence, lying that it had been bought there. Two of the three officers involved would eventually plead guilty to charges including manslaughter. The three were sentenced to five, six, and ten years in prison.
lOUISIANA
September 4, 2005: A deadly police shooting occurred on the Danziger Bridge in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in 2005. Six days after the hurricane, seventeen-year-old James Brissette and forty-year-old Ronald Madison were killed in the gunfire, and four other civilians were wounded. All victims were unarmed. Madison, a mentally disabled man, was shot in the back. Members of the New Orleans Police Department coordinated and fabricated a cover-up story for their crime, falsely reporting that seven police officers responded to a police dispatch reporting an officer down, and that at least four people were firing weapons at the officers upon their arrival. The officers also planted a gun at the scene to make it seem the civilians were armed. On August 5, 2011, a New Orleans Federal Court jury found five police officers guilty of a myriad of charges related to the cover-up and deprivation of civil rights.
Maryland
June 18, 1993: 24-year-old Archie “Artie” Elliott III was driving home from his construction job in the late afternoon when Officer Jason Leavitt of the District Heights Police Department pulled him over for driving erratically. Leavitt administered a field sobriety test, which Elliott failed. After determining to arrest Elliott, Officer Leavitt searched Elliott, handcuffed him and placed him in the front seat of Leavitt’s police car and securing him in the seat with the seat belt before closing the car door. Shortly afterward, Officer Wayne Cheney of the Prince George’s County Police Department arrived as backup. Two officers were standing beside the car when they claimed that Elliott suddenly exited the car and pointed a gun at them. Both officers opened fire and shot Elliott a total of fourteen times. Police say they recovered a small, unloaded, .22 caliber handgun from the scene. Several witnesses disputed the officers’ account of the incident, but a grand jury declined to issue an indictment.
NEW YORK
February 4, 1999: Amadou Diallo was shot 41 times and killed by New York City police officers while unarmed after the officers claimed they believed he was reaching for a gun. Four officers were indicted for second degree murder but later acquitted

South Carolina
November 5, 2003: Police executed a raid at Stratford High School, forcing students as young as 14 to the ground at gunpoint while drug dogs searched their schoolbags
Texas
May 5, 1977: Joe Campos Torres, a 23-year-old Vietnam Veteran had been arrested by Houston police at an Eastside bar for disorderly conduct. Six police officers took Torres to a spot called “The Hole” next to Buffalo Bayou and beat him. The officers then took Torres to the city jail, where they were ordered to take him to the hospital. Instead of taking Torres to the hospital like they were told, the officers brought him back to the banks of Buffalo Bayou, where he was pushed into the water. Torres’ body was found two days later. Two of the officers involved were tried on state murder charges. They were convicted of negligent homicide and got one year probation and fined $1. The two, and another officer were later convicted of federal civil rights violations. They served nine months in prison.
MORE FREEDOM FREEDOM

Poll: Two-Thirds Of Americans Say Private Consumption Of Cannabis Should Be Legal
by Paul Armentano, NORML Deputy Director
Sixty-six percent of Americans believe that adults ought to legally be able to consume cannabis in the privacy of one’s own home, according to results of a nationwide HuffingtonPost/YouGov survey released late last week.
Read more »

The Legalization Movement Can’t Be Stopped
by Keith Stroup, NORML Legal Counsel
The political and cultural victories for the marijuana legalization movement continue to accumulate as new developments lead us closer to the ultimate goal of full legalization. Just in the last couple of weeks, we’ve seen the powerful, unambiguous endorsement of full legalization by the most influential newspaper in America: The New York Times. That endorsement was followed by a series of six follow-up editorials explaining in more detail precisely why the Times decided to join the fight to end prohibition. Additionally, The Brookings Institution, a highly respected Washington, DC think […]

Thanx to Normol.org as always along with The Washington Post and wekipedia for information used in this article.
©2014 BeibeJones

STATES-420 GOVERNMENT-ZERO

•July 28, 2014 • 2 Comments

FREEDOM 1933- States end prohibition on alcohol, America once again Land of the Free! Fast forward to the 21st century. Americans fed up with children running the government! Congress fails to vote or act on any important issues concerning this country. The House in a surprising moment passed a law in May to prohibit the D.E.A. from going after people who use marijuana for medical reasons if the state they live in has said it’s legal!
Close to 75% of Americans live under some form of relaxed marijuana laws. 14 million people smoke marijuana on a daily basis in this country, that is 14 million people who could be regarded as “Green Minute Men” The minutemen were among the first people to fight in the American Revolution. How can our government deny and/or refuse to change policy when clearly the people want this change?
The New York Times published a report today calling for the end of prohibition on marijuana. There will be a five-part series on this in the coming editions. In the belly of the beast there lies a chance for reform. 2/3rds of the people living in the District of Columbia favor the legalization of marijuana use and possession for adults. 57,000 people has signed a petition to put this on the ballot. Speaking of ballots-New Approach Oregon, had submitted enough valid signatures from registered voters to qualify the measure for the November ballot. The proposed ballot initiative (Initiative Petition 53) seeks to regulate the personal possession, commercial cultivation, and retail sale of cannabis to adults. Taxes on the commercial sale of cannabis under the plan are estimated to raise some $88 million in revenue in the first two years following the law’s implementation. Adults who engage in the non-commercial cultivation of limited amounts of cannabis for personal use (up to four marijuana plants and eight ounces of usable marijuana at a given time) will not be subject to taxation or commercial regulations. – See more at: http://blog.norml.org/2014/07/22/its-official-oregon-legalization-initiative-qualifies-for-the-2014-ballot. Under pressure Rohrabacher Amendment, which will restrict Treasury Department and SEC funds from being spent to penalize financial institutions for providing services to marijuana related business that operate according to state law. 

The state of Washington has followed Colorado and has implemented the sale of recreational marijuana sales! “>“Washingtonians know that, as in Colorado, governments both foreign and domestic will be watching to see how legalization progresses in the state,” said Seattle Police Chief Norm Stamper (Ret.), a LEAP speaker and advisory board member. “And I imagine that, as in Colorado, lower crime rates, increased tax revenue, thousands of new jobs and continuing public support will indicate legalizing and regulating marijuana is one of the simplest ways to improve not just our criminal justice system, but our state governments. Nearly 7,000 businesses applied for the 334 licenses authorized by I-502, the voter initiative which legalized marijuana in the state. Those licenses are strictly controlled and come with a host of regulations, including prohibitions on retailers being within 1,000 feet of schools, parks and other locations likely to be frequented by children. So far, no manufacturer has passed the stringent requirements surrounding marijuana-infused edibles.
On a personal note
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I started smoking marijuana in 1974 and have remained doing so all my life. I have found that to me the only drawback to enjoying marijuana is the hassle that accompanies this use by law enforcement and the corrupt policies of insurance companies forcing drug tests on us. Yes, I complained when prices rose in the seventies from $15 for a lid to $30 for an ounce but that was petty and soon forgotten as the quality was so much better. I also smoked the marijuana Nixon’s administration sprayed with the poison paroquet in Mexico and was brought across the border to be sold here. And I believe he and his cronies knew in advance that this would happen to our youth before they did it. Paranoia set in as the police started busting more and more people just trying to enjoy themselves without causing trouble as we did on alcohol. As an aging boomer [now 56] I have had no health problems occur from the 40 years I have been enjoying marijuana. And even though I live in a state that will be one of the last to recognize the people’s wishes and wants I will continue to enjoy the effects marijuana provides me in the form of relaxation, enlightenment, and the belief that I can be free despite the law.
Peace, Ernie
0410141749
©2014beibeJones

Rough Patch cont…

•July 21, 2014 • Leave a Comment
"Sweet Home Alabama"

“Sweet Home Alabama”

I was 49 years old when this all started and living happily outside of Montgomery on the Alabama river. Mom was still able to remember people if they were around often but couldn’t remember me when I phoned her on the week-ends. She would tell me she couldn’t understand me over the phone and after a while she didn’t know who I was so would put her husband on the line where he would tell me she just couldn’t hear very well. After I returned to Indiana I went over to see mom and she didn’t know who I was at first but after about an hour she started recognizing me and after that I would take her shopping as she didn’t drive anymore. Spending time with her then was great as she reminisced about our lives together and we became very close once again. I had flown the nest early in life landing on the gypsy highway so we rarely saw each other most of my life and then for only short periods of time.

1 year in with Mark

1 year in with Mark

From the day her husband “Dean” died I have been by my mama’s side and have shown her love and compassion along with receiving the same. At 89 years old mom was still sprite and in great physical health. We would go out and do things she hadn’t done in a long time. We started visiting her brothers more regularly and going out to dine, shop etc… The first year I noticed changes in memory picking up for instance she didn’t grieve Deans death as she would have normally, she forgot who I was and called me Dean, and she started forgetting friends and neighbors. She still responded to family pretty good and was able to still have a couples of drinks and enjoy herself. During this part of the journey I thought it was sad but in reality I was unaware and unprepared for the long journey we were sharing and the hard part wasn’t in sight yet.
In the following two years I watched as my mama’s mental state went into different stages which all seemed to be worse than the previous one had been. We got her a new pair of hearing aids and that seemed to help quite a bit but shortly after she lapsed into another stage and was angry for no reason and withdrawing when anyone came over.
Mama's Baby Boy
This photo shows how far mama has declined in health. She has regressed to a point that she no longer knows anyone and has no recollection of past or presence. She also has lost her balance and is confused constantly about time. So for now let me close with quoting a song title, “It Hurts me too” by Foghat
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©2014 Beibejones

Rough Patch

•July 21, 2014 • Leave a Comment

This journey started back in March of 2007 and continues to slowly deteriorate an already altered mind.
Starting Point!

Walking to the bathroom late in the evening of March 17th 2007,  I suddenly had a pain in  my stomach that brought me instantly to the ground doubled up. I layed there for around 15 minutes crying and unable to move as the pain slowly receded. I was finally able to get up and make my way to the bed where I curled up and finally went to sleep. Within a week I had seen two doctors and was admitted to Prattville hospital in Alabama. For two weeks I stayed there while they placed a drain tube in my colon and drained puss out of an abscess the size of an orange. The doctor comes in and tells me that it is drained and I can go home and resume my life. I had just started a new job so returning to it I was determined to work hard to ensure the absence I’d had wouldn’t hurt me during my probationary period. A week went by and on Wednesday I had extreme pain in my stomach again so had to leave work and go to another hospital in Montgomery where they did a cat scan and admitted me for an emergency operation on my colon.
colostomybag

Waking up five days later in ICU I found that the abscess had again grew to the size of an orange and while I was being visited by my brother and sister [no relation] the abscess broke and poison flooded my system. I had a colostomy bag attached to my stomach and was told that after four months I would have a reversal and be able to go back to my normal life. After the second surgery I woke to find I still had the colostomy and was told I would have to keep it the rest of my life. After another eight weeks I was able to return to work driving a dump truck and relocated to Foley Alabama where I tried to resume my life. After another two years of living in constant pain while accumulating six hernia’s in my stomach I was not able to work any longer. I ended up back in Montgomery where I found employment with a temp company detailing cars at Hundai and tried to resume a normal lifestyle. This wasn’t easy to do for my friends which to this day I hold in GREAT RESPECT for putting up with the…how do I say it Allen, inconveince of being close when the bag broke away from my skin. and had become so depressed I thought life wasn’t worth living like that anymore.

I talked to my brother and made arrangements to go to Indiana to stay with him for a couple of months to figure out what to do. Arriving in Indiana I was depressed and had a plan to say good-bye to family and friends and commit suicide, I ended up in a hospital’s ward for suicide patients which turned out to be the best thing that happened to me since this all started. A nurse there told me about the Cleveland clinic and after I was released gave me information for help which included going to the free clinic in Ft. Wayne IN. A doctor seen me there and came over to look at my colostomy and sent me to a specialist. Understand all this happened without me having insurance so I was expecting to be turned away yet again when to my surprise Dr. Marks told me the operation shouldn’t have ever taken place. He knew I had no insurance and couldn’t work so he graciously preformed the operation and charged me a measly $2,200 for another operation. These three operations with follow up appointments, hospital care, and medical supplies had me in debt close to the tune of $1 million dollars! I was however put back together and given hope for a normal future. I filed bankruptcy and was looking for a job when my step father passed away in February of 2011.

My mother was in the first stages of Alzheimer’s disease and couldn’t be left alone so I stepped in to care for her. This was/is a full time job that really can not be described as it has opened my eyes to quite a few things I would have never realized before doing this. Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease that affects memory and slowly eats away until there is nothing left of memory. For the last three and a half years I have been with my mother 24/7 with the exception of three days while friends [family] from Alabama came up to visit and another week while I was in the hospital getting yet another operation to repair the damage in my stomach wall which looked like swiss cheese due to the hernia’s. During these last 3 1/2 years I have watched my loving mother regress into a child like state. The first year found me trying to understand this disease and coping with it while keeping mother happy and arguing with family about expenses.

to be continued…

©2014 beibejones

 

 

 
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