Shut Down

This post is going to be blunt and maybe not what you are used to seeing here but it must be said.


The concept that has been installed in most of us since birth has a strong bond put in place and growing up under siblings can and will teach you plenty of life’s lessons. Many times the oldest child is granted “special” privileges concerning the “help” in rasing younger siblings. But what does it teach you exactly?

I am the youngest of six children all being baby boomers and as of today there are three of us left. A sister that was #3 in line, a brother three years my senior, #5 in line and myself. And yes I will go on record saying that as the baby of the family I received certain perks in growing up, more on that later. I was raised in the 60’s in a mid-sized city in Northern Indiana and the times, they were a changin’. My three oldest siblings were becoming of age in the late fifties and early sixties and although none of them became hippies or indulged in rock n roll too much, they did have a great impact on my growing up. My oldest brother went straight into the Air Force and made a 20+ year career out of it. a tour in Korea and three in Nam’ and then onto base intell at Norton AFB in Cali along with tours around the world. Jerry was 18 years my senior so when he came home on leave he would tease Andy and me [bullying] in my eyes. But I never seemed to see this as a child but rather a [Hero] coming home to visit. Evidently Andy, my older brother thought the same as when he turned 18 he followed suit and went to San Antonio TX to basic training too.

Ok, I am getting ahead of myself a bit so I will back up and try to describe the type of lifestyle I was raised in. When Mom said to do something you never questioned it but got it done on the spot out of respect, yes there were times this was ignored but lessons were taught to ensure you understood the authority more than the reason ie: “go pick a switch and bring it to me” meant that you were being tested and you only got one chance to be right. I learnt this lesson young in life as I brought a flimsy, small switch back and was promptly shown the “right” size then shown how not to make that mistake again. Dad was a different story altogether though as he was a no-nonsense kind of guy. Dad had a razor strap hung in the kitchen entryway to remind us to tow the line and was not hesitant to use it. And as for rules, well you followed them or else. You were expected to come home from school and get your chores done without delay or being told to do it, then came homework. After eating and doing dishes we were allowed to go out and play until dark when a shout would bring you home running. Sure, we complained but to no avail as the rules were set in stone. Of course the three older children had it different than us younger three as there was a gap in age but we were all pretty much taught the same things. We were brought up on country music as Rock was still being invented and there was only one rock channel available on the AM dial. [WLYV] in Fort Wayne.

My father drove truck for 32 years and then moved into maintenance at a high school in a neighboring town. This was around 1968 or 69′ and he quickly formed a dis-like for “hippies, rock and roll, and the younger generation as a whole. By then all my older brothers and sisters had grown and left the household leaving  mom, Sandy a sister 5 years my senior and me. Dad was ran over by a truck one day and became disabled around 1970 where as he was left to sit or lie around all day and the impact of this played hell on my teen-age years. I was responsable for getting him downstairs onto a colonial couch, pushing him into the kitchen and making sure the frig was stocked with beer before I went to school every day. This went on for about a year or so before coming home from school [sophomore year 14 years old] one day and passing the neighborhood bar where a drunk came out the door and told me to “get your ass home, your dad is dead.” Swear to GOD this is how I found out.

I was in total shock and the next 30 years were lived in a wasteland of drugs, alcohol and pushing the envelope or living on the edge if you will. Death is a tricky lot for me as it seems that all my loved ones have been removed from this earth right around my birthday and this has begotten ill feelings about the months of Jan. and Feb. I do accept this as fact now and deal with death in my own private manner but it was a tough lesson of life to learn.

After I dropped out of school and started a journey of being a free spirited soul I bounced from town to town and job to job which many consider being a bum but looking at the other side of the coin it allowed me to learn many different cultures and obtain many friends from many different areas of life. This in turn helped me become the person I am today as a little part of each person was left behind in me as I have left a little of me with them.

OK so some people think I’m a bum…other people think I’m a asset to their lives while yet others see me as I can’t, a stand up decent person trying to do right on the wrong side of the tracks. Mistakes? hell yes I make them on a daily basis and take ownership to these mistakes as how else am I going to learn and grow? By being locked in prison for smoking a joint? NO but by correcting not only my mistake but also by accepting that what I did was wrong and wipe out the negative thinking and in it’s place add compassion for my fellow humans!

If I can think this way why can’t our government officials?
I guess what I’m trying to say is this: ALL OF US WANT TO BE ON THE GRAVY TRAIN but the only ones riding the train is the government.
peace, ©2014 Beibe Jones


~ by beibejones on March 16, 2014.

One Response to “Shut Down”

  1. Hi Guy – I rarely comment on your posts but this one got to me. I feel like there is so much we don’t know about each other and how do you pull the important moments out to share. Stay sane – Love ya!

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